Thursday, February 3, 2011

I LEAVE BEHIND A PART OF ME EVERYDAY.

I've got to tell you, working almost full-time with two lovely children has got to be one of the hardest things to do. I've only been back in the work force for a month & I already miss those wonderful weeks of maternity leave. 6 weeks was not enough. I've come to believe that 6 months wouldn't have been enough. Even 6 years! I honestly don't want to miss a single thing my children do. I want to witness every giggle. Every meltdown (oh, and trust me. There is a lot of those around here lately when it comes to juice. You'd think my son thinks it's the end of the world when his request for juice is denied.) I want to snuggle on the couch and watch Disney's Cars three times in a row (okay, so I really don't want to see that movie ever in my life again, but the company is worth the torture. Well...to be completely honest, Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 is the hit in our house right now.)

The thought of staying home is a beautiful dream. Just not something that can become a reality at this stage in our lives.



I have a great support system that helps take care of my children while I am at work. I could never put my trust into a daycare, but into family, it's acceptable to me. I think this is why I am able to leave them alone for longer than three hours at a clip. I know they are well taken care of. So, I can earn an income to take care of them - spoil them with wonderful things like delicious snacks & a warm house to live in. If we could make it work any other way, I'd risk it! However, with this unreliable economy it's not worth a terrible outcome.

6 comments:

Alyssa Ashley said...

I'm sorry you're not able to stay home with the kids. I know how hard that is. Some people feel like they're going crazy when they have to stay home with their kids but when I was in school, it drove me insane not being able to be at home with Carter. I still feel like I missed an entire year of his life. I don't want to do that again. Things are definitely tight with me not working, but we're able to make it work. Erik says we're fine on his income and anything I might make in the future would just be extra and that's great but it's okay if I want to be home for now. I'm very thankful for that. I know there will be times where I want to get out of the house but instead of jumping into a full-time school schedule, I know next time to find things to get involved with at the YMCA with the kids or a mom's group or even just a part-time job. When I started school, I was really just getting so tired of being in the house but I shouldn't have committed to such a big schedule and big change because that drove me even more crazy and then I realized I wasn't even interested in doing hair anyway so it was a big waste of time too.

I used to feel that way about day care until I found the one that Carter goes to. I love it there so much. I knew about it because I used to work in day care in high school and a little after and I worked with this girl Sarah who was always talking up the Kinder Care in Cedarburg because she used to work there, but then took a job doing something else that didn't work out and when she tried to get in there, they didn't have any openings so she came to the center I worked at. Eventually something opened and she went back there and we lost touch but I always remembered how she talked up the toddler room there. So when Carter needed a day care while I was in school, it was the first and only place I checked out and I loved it. At the end of the tour, I asked if Sarah still worked there and she did - she was now the assistant director of the center! She remembered me and because of knowing someone, it made me feel a lot more comfortable. I've gotten to know all the women who work there and I really like all of them. I also love that it's a preschool style center and Carter has learned SO MUCH there. I love the songs they learn and the projects they do. And he loves going and seeing his "friends". Even though he no longer needs it, we still let him go two days a week just for the learning/social aspect of it. He gets excited when we pull into the parking lot and yells "yay friends!" and says "hello friends!" when he walks in. And we can tell they all love him there too. We're just very happy with it there. I definitely know how you feel though because I used to feel that way too. It's hard but once you find a great one, it's totally worth it!!

Sorry for the novel, lol

Fawn Teresi said...

Im right there with you. Hate leaving for work... I wish daily I could stay at home with him. It makes me feel like I am missing so much.... I wish I could tell you it gets easier... Mine is over a year now.. and I swear its just as hard as it was since the first day I had to leave :(
Beautiful pictures!!!! :)

xo katrina said...

found you through embrace...your daughter is beautiful. and i'm sure she's happy to be able to spend time with her family who loves her when you're at work.

Ang said...

Found you through ETC. These pictures melt my heart!

Brooke said...

I get to stay at home and I don't know how those who work do it. Super-women y'all are!

Kristine said...

Hi there! Found you thru the Embrace :) Hang in there momma!! God will provide somehow!! Supporting families rock! You have beautiful children!!! Love the photos!